Social dynamics is tricky.

I know your problems.

You constantly ask yourself:

How do I approach a girl?

How do I get the conversation going?

How do I get more sexual?

How do I eliminate neediness?

These are only some of the most common questions guys tend to ask when they start their first steps in the Seduction world. And I don’t blame them.

You have unlimited sources you can pull information from and sooner or later you end up experiencing information overload. You can’t really evaluate what is truly important and what is just well-established fluff and as a result you get too caught up in your head. This situation is neither helpful nor beneficial for your progress. I know because I have been there.

I have spent countless of hours trying to evaluate what works and what doesn’t and eventually I reached some very important conclusions. The following 8 rules are like a cheat sheet you can use whenever you feel lost and you need to reevaluate your progress. Trust me they will prove golden along the way.

1. Stop Focusing On Words. Invest Most Of Your Time in Non-Verbal Communication

I am quite sure you have read this advice countless times but it is crucial to keep mentioning it until it sticks in your mind and you seriously realize its unquestionable importance. The reason I focus so much on this point is mainly because I am tired of guys asking me what I say when I open girls and how do I keep the conversation going. Do you want to know what my favorite opener is?

The High-Five! It works almost every time because it is the ultimate demonstration of a playful and confident character.

And do you want to know how I keep the conversation going?

I have no idea! You know why? Because I don’t even think about it. I can start talking about the most ridiculous topic and make it sound extremely interesting simply by focusing on sub-communicating non-verbal cues.

So my advice to you is this. Stop getting caught up in your head and wasting time trying to think what you are going to say. Start investing most of your time in your non-verbal communication when you go out and you will see dramatic changes in your game.

2. If you don’t want the girl to lose interest you need to constantly escalate sexually

Don’t get confused here. Sexual escalation is not only physical escalation (I will talk about that in point 5). Sexual escalation is also verbal and it occurs mainly by focusing on conversational topics that can cause her arousal.

Based on my experience, there are mainly two ways you can achieve such a thing. Firstly by talking about sex-related topics. Sex-related topics are a great way to arouse a woman because you talk to her subconscious mind and unconsciously you get her excited about a sexual adventure. Research has shown that talking about sex, not only gets people aroused but also helps the female feel comfortable about the topic, thus allowing her to be more receptive to a sexual encounter. Great ways to enrich your conversation with sex-related topics are:

Discuss favorite sex positions.
Mention uncommon places where you have had sex before.
Ask her which parts of her body are more receptive to sexual arousal.

The second way you can create sexual arousal is by demonstrating high value. Whether this is translated to talking confidently about your achievements, exhibiting that you are a well-respected person or showing that you are pre-selected by other women, among others, demonstration of high value is a huge attraction spike for a woman. Bear in mind that women are mainly attracted by status and alpha-characteristics. Demonstrating those during a conversation will get her to feel sexually aroused in no time.

3. Rejection Is Just a Creation Of Your Mind. Get Over It

You know the typical cliché: “There are no mistakes just lessons?” Well, I couldn’t agree more. You need to realize that there is no way in the world that all women can be attracted to you. It’s not normal, it’s not reasonable and it’s against the natural flow of things. People have different preferences, a different understanding of the world and different belief systems. Embrace that, get used to it and move on.

I know it’s not the easiest thing to do but a great way to tackle it is by shifting your mentality and viewing rejection from a different angle. For example, whenever I get rejected, I never feel discouraged because I have trained myself to think that either:

She has a boyfriend and I should respect that or
She is so intimidated by me that she is not worthy of my attention.

It sounds funny but it actually works. Try it and let me know how it went.

4. Women Want To Feel Comfortable Around You. Treat Her Like You Have Known Her For Years

Comfort is your secret to success and glory. Make the girl feel comfortable around you and you have earned a well-respected place in her world. When I first met my girlfriend, I made her feel comfortable so quickly that she couldn’t move away from me the whole night. The connection we had within the first 5 hours in this nightclub, felt so absurd that made her fall for me in no time.

The reason comfort is so important for girls, is mainly because comfort is strongly associated with protection.

The more comfortable they feel around you, the more they will see you as someone who can protect her from a vulnerable reality. They will also perceive you as the “Cool” guy who managed to understand her and build rapport quickly and easily and also as the “Leader” who knows how to initiate interactions effectively and turn them into amazing experiences.

5. Physical Escalation Should Be One Of Your Top Priorities. Always Create Good Sexual Tension

As I already stated in point 2, if you are not escalating sexually, you are going backward. You don’t want to end up friend-zoned or the nice guy she met at a nightclub.

You want to turn her on both mentally and physically and there is no better way to do it than initiating kino early enough in an interaction.

Also try and create good sexual tension by being in her personal intimate space. What do I mean by that. Kino has many forms but many guys unfortunately focus on physical escalation routines without paying attention to the energy exchange behind them. Don’t get confused when I say energy exchange. I am not talking about something metaphysical. I just want to stress out that when you see that a woman is being receptive to your Game, without being intrusive, you need to get closer and closer so that she gets used to your presence. She will start feeling the sexual tension rising, she will start getting used to your energy and one thing will lead to another.

6. Getting Her Number Is Your First Victory. Treat your Victory with Respect

There is nothing creepier than a guy who approaches a girl, manages to get her number and then vanishes like a ghost.

Realize that the number is your first huge victory. Treat your victory with respect.

Take some time to enjoy it and then move on. If you don’t respect your victories you don’t really respect yourself. So my advice to you is this: After you take the number, stay a bit with the girl and build some expectations. For example you can tease her:

I am pretty sure this is your grandma’s number and you are going to set up a blind date for her with me.
This number is gold. I can sell it online and use the money to pay the next installment of my bike.

Or you can prepare her for your upcoming text.

One of my best friends is playing music at a party next Friday. I will text you the details so you can join me.
I have two Lakers tickets for next Weekend. I will text you to see how big of a Lakers fan you are.

In any case just find something smart to say so you don’t need to feel weird when you decide to text her later. If you have more ideas mention them in the comments section below.

7. If You Don’t Isolate You Are Flirting With Loss Of Connection

Isolation is probably the most important factor that will determine whether you will get the girl or not. You need to realize that your own worst enemy apart from yourself is the girl’s vulnerability to social pressure. In a high social pressure environment, she will most probably behave disconnected, unapproachable and sometimes bitchy. Her bitch shield will be up almost 80% of the time and your window of opportunity will keep shrinking as time goes by.

It is up to you how fast you can isolate her so she can let her guards down and start feeling comfortable and at ease. A hands-on approach on isolation goes as follows:

Daygame: If you see that she is open to spending time with you, move her to a coffee shop and start getting a bit personal. Treat her like you’ve known her for years as I mentioned on point 4 and help her focus all her attention on you.
Nightgame: If she is with her friends you need to move her away from them as fast as possible. As soon as you have developed some trust, grab her by the hand and move her in a quiet place and discuss some more or start making out.

8. Expose Yourself To Your Deepest Fears. Always Evolve

Theory is always good and all but if you don’t bleed in the field and expose yourself to your deepest fears, there is no way you are going to succeed. Be careful though. When I say bleed in the field, I don’t mean go out there and do 1000 approaches until you succeed, like some well know pickup gurus were lecturing years ago.

You are a socially intelligent, rational male with extremely high levels of self-esteem and self-respect. You know how to evaluate what you read and test it in a reasonable and effective way. You should always try new ideas and approaches.

In the end however, what will make you feel good and determine your success is how you evolve and refine your game based on your personality and beliefs.

Conclusion

Before I conclude this article, I want to add one more thing that I learned through all these years of experience and training.

Game is a dynamic process that evolves parallel with your own personal evolution.

The more you invest in yourself, the more this will be visible on you and will be reflected to the world. Pay attention to the cues your environment is sending and make sure to use them in order to grow as a person and as a man. And there is probably nothing more attractive in this world than a Man who really knows how to Grow.

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Andrian

Andrian is the founder and main contributor at The Quintessential Man - The only online community that offers a holistic approach to men's self-growth. We are striving to create high quality content by investing in a reality-based form of self-help, informed by a deep understanding of psychology, culture and our own personal experiences and social adventures.